Wednesday February 8, 2012

Welcome to theBecwar.com. I know I've been fairly lax in actually providing content, and that most people who stumble across this site are probably horribly disappointed at this. Ok, so maybe that's a little narcissistic, even for me. They probably don't give a crap that I've put nothing on this page. But somewhere there are people that like the nothingness. They are happy that there's a place on the web with NO useful information. This is not a pretentious site filled with useful knowledge. (If you want that there's always Wikipedia and its quiet usefulness.) It is in fact a site with nothing but time to stare at the picture of the limecat and contemplate your bellybutton. Why your bellybutton? Well because it's there, and that excuse worked for George Mallory, so why shouldn't it work for me. Why not? Because I am not named George. theBecwar.com will, in its absence of 'George-ness¹' attempt to provide you with the same random stuff you've come to the web for. The crazyness with which this passage is written may belie the deep seated wisdom running to you through a steady stream of ones and zeroes. Or it could just be that I'm an idiot who happens to be lucky enough to find the solutions to a lot of problems.

I was not made in the image of a Nerd-God². I have no superpowers yet. I do, however have about 10 years of feverish paced computer use, and in that time, I've managed to learn how to write 'Hello World' in DOS, Basic, Visual Basic, WSH, Java/Javascript, HTML, PHP, and my personal favorite Ruby. I can, despite many beliefs you may have to the contrary after reading this far, make the office suite jump through a finely conditioned set of hoops. If you wanted help making a PowerPoint show better, or making an Excel spreadsheet more useful (or at least give it pretty colors), I'm your man.

My only caveat in this is be careful. My solutions may work for me on my computer, but you might type something incorrectly, and break something. Where possible I'll warn you about possible dangers, but I'm only human, and before you execute any code, you should at least read through the comments I've made to see if there may be anything I missed. I am NOT responsible for you breaking something. Let me say that again: I am NOT responsible for you breaking anything on your computer.

¹George-ness: The condition or state of being George ('Duh...')
²Nerd God: See William H. Gates III

Note: The nerd god would probably skin me alive if I didn't remind you all that DOS, Basic, Visual Basic, Windows Scripting Host, PowerPoint and Excel, are all pieces of Microsoft software, and therefore in order to obtain them you must shell out money to uncle Bill. Not my rules. His.